Hello, human diary. It is again I, Mitt. Very little to report today, Mr. Diary. We are beginning to vet possible vice presidential units in earnest. As of the moment, the most highly regarded choices seem to be these:
Marco Rubio. Pros: An ethnic fellow. Cons: We previously stated we were not going to consider ethnic fellows.
Ted Nugent. Pros: Seems to bond extremely well with the common Republican units. Cons: Insane.
Paul Ryan. Pros: Young, energetic. Considered clever by Washington insiders. Cons: Insane.
Exxon Mobil. Pros: An established brand name. Shares my views on wealth, regulation and tax breaks. Cons: May raise Constitutional questions.
This is a daunting question. Our campaign may need to contract additional support in order to find the best suited candidate for the vice presidency. Eric F. suggests we contact Dick Cheney to head our decision-making team, as we understand he has previous experience in this area.
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