Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better. As part of my campaign's ongoing plan to receive endorsement from as wide a collection of previously failed candidates as possible, thus making me look more competent by comparison, I appeared today with previously failed candidate John McCain. This time around my staff was doubly sure that the senator knew my name before the appearance, as we have had some difficulty with that in the past. Today's event was held to honor American veteran units, in the form of having them honor me. It is also a part of my crash course in foreign events, as Eric F. hopes that by associating me with veterans, some veteran-ness will rub off on me.
Sen. McCain and I were reminiscing about the war. I still remember those dark days. I was in France at the time, after being excused from military duty in order to more profitably spend my time attempting to convert France to my religion. It was a traumatic experience for me. I still remember the look on each French face as I told them that part of converting would be that they could no longer drink alcohol. At some points, I feared for my very life. (Mr. McCain listened very politely to my experiences, but did not say much.)
That is all I wish to discuss today, Mr. Diary. Remembering France is always tiring, and so I do not speak of it often.
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