GOP Madness, Quarterfinals, Match 3

We know half of the semifinal matchups: On the left side of the bracket, the GOP debate audience who booed the gay soldier will compete with today's winner for a spot in the finals. On the right side of the bracket, Mitt Romney's Etch-a-Sketch will face tomorrow's winner (either the GOP debate audience who thinks it's funny that people get sick and die, or Romney's "Corporations are people, my friend!").

1. RICK SANTORUM DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE SEX FOR PLEASURE

One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is I think the dangers of contraception in this country, the whole sexual libertine idea ... Many in the Christian faith have said, "Well, that's okay ... contraception's okay."

It's not okay because it's a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. They're supposed to be within marriage, for purposes that are, yes, conjugal ... but also procreative. That's the perfect way that a sexual union should happen. We take any part of that out, we diminish the act. And if you can take one part out that's not for purposes of procreation, that's not one of the reasons, then you diminish this very special bond between men and women, so why can't you take other parts of that out? And all of a sudden, it becomes deconstructed to the point where it's simply pleasure. And that's certainly a part of it'and it's an important part of it, don't get me wrong'but there's a lot of things we do for pleasure, and this is special, and it needs to be seen as special.

Again, I know most presidents don't talk about those things, and maybe people don't want us to talk about those things, but I think it's important that you are who you are. I'm not running for preacher. I'm not running for pastor, but these are important public policy issues.

Original write up here. And yes, Ricky, there's a reason presidents have never scolded people for having sex for pleasure.

2. RICK PERRY SPEECHIFIES WHILE DRUNK. OR HIGH. OR BOTH.

Original write up here. The video above is a "greatest hits" compilation from the speech, but if you still don't have the three and a half minutes to watch it all, then watch the first and last 15 seconds. It's performance art from the guy Republicans thought would save them from Romney.