Mitt Romney still palling around with 'bloviating ignoramus' Donald Trump

Hey, America, I'm not done saying crazy shit yet. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)

You would think a lifelong bully like Mitt Romney would be able to stand up to one of the dumbest and most unpopular people in his own party, especially when that person's endorsement actually makes voters less likely to support Romney. But you'd be wrong:

Mitt Romney made clear this week he won't cut ties with Donald Trump, who is hosting a fundraiser for the candidate in Las Vegas on Tuesday, despite the real estate mogul's claims the president was born in Kenya. Trump returned the favor by launching into yet another screeching birther diatribe on CNBC the morning of the event.

It would seem that despite promises to leave that whole birth certificate thing alone after getting thoroughly punked by President Obama, Donald Trump is once again angling to get back into the good graces of the hardcore birthers, who have denounced Trump as a secret double agent who was really working with the White House all along. (Yes. They believe that. Really.)

'I never really changed ' nothing's changed my mind,' Trump told CNBC, reassuring that his birtherism is as rock solid as it was last year when he briefly led Republican primary polling. 'And by the way, you know, you have a huge group of people. I walk down the street and people are screaming, 'Please don't give that up.'

Oh, well, in that case. Obviously, you have to listen to people who randomly scream conspiracy theories at you on the street. You can't just ignore that kind of deep and meaningful political insight. Sure, on the one hand, you've got the president's long-form birth certificate, but that can't possibly stand up to scrutiny when you've also got Random Dude On The Street saying it's a fake.

So why does Mitt Romney refuse to distance himself from this moron? Even Republicans are baffled. Like George Will:

'I do not understand the cost benefit here,' conservative columnist George Will said of Romney on ABC's This Week Sunday. 'The costs are clear. The benefit ' what voter is going to vote for him because he is seen with Donald Trump? The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics.'

That's George Will's oh-so-droll way of calling Trump an idiot, but the joke's on him, because, actually, Donald Trump is super smart, according to Donald Trump:

'I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time,' he said.

And in case that wasn't clear enough:
George Will may be the dumbest(and most overrated) political commentator of all time. If the Republicans listen to him, they will lose.
' @realDonaldTrump via Mobile Web

Yes, Republicans, please, whatever you do, do not listen to the dumbest and most overrated among you who keep telling you to once and for all leave these birther conspiracies alone. Please listen instead to Donald Trump and his unnamed screaming people on the street:

.@BarackObama is practically begging @MittRomney to disavow the place of birth movement, he is afraid of it and for good reason. He keeps using @SenJohnMcCain as an example, however, @SenJohnMcCain lost the election. Don't let it happen again.

Yeah, Trump has President Obama right where he wants him, and everyone knows the only reason John McCain didn't beat the heck out of Obama in 2008 was because he wasn't willing to fully embrace the dumbest, craziest people in his party. (Cough Sarah Palin cough.)

So why, again, is Mitt Romney so desperate to stay on Trump's good side? Is it because he's still trying to court the base of the Republican Party, who can't stand him? Yes. Is it because he's willing to let his surrogates do his dirty work even as he faintly condemns birther conspiracies? Yes. Is it because he's a soulless, unprincipled whore who will say or do anything for money, like the money Trump's raising for Mitt? Yes. But, it seems, that the real reason is because deep down, Mitt Romney's a terrible coward who's afraid of making Donald Trump angry, at least according to former McCain adviser Ana Navarro:

'[The] venom Trump would spew if unceremoniously disinvited, would be hard to control and make media fodder for days.'

Ahhhh. Yes, that does make sense. Mitt Romney can't possibly stand up to Donald Trump because it turns out, The Donald is as much a soulless, unprincipled whore as Mitt, and if Mitt dares to say, "That dude's crazy"'you know, like the majority of the Republican Party has'he risks The Donald saying mean stuff about him. Much better to be held hostage by the certifiably insane and criminally stupid blowhards of the party. Because that really shows your bold leadership and courage and how you will totally stand up to terrorists and tyrants. Because chucking poll numbers, conventional wisdom, and the near-unanimous advice of your party in favor of trying to keep a half-wit lunatic happy? That is bold.