Hello, human diary. It is I, Mitt Romney, your better. I was too distracted to campaign today. Instead, I flew to Ohio to finally reunite with Mr. Bus. He is just as I remember! The strong smell of diesel reminds me of job creating, or the smell of the large trucks that carry old equipment out of factories that need to be moved to China. It is a good smell. Unfortunately, we had to eventually turn off the engine as we were parked and some members of the staff began to complain of lightheadedness. I am beginning to suspect they do not appreciate job creators as much as they have previously claimed.
In order to justify visiting Mr. Bus instead of campaigning, I made an appearance at our Ohio campaign rally to acquire various foodstuffs for hurricane victims. The plan is still to use Mr. Bus to deliver these supplies to the commoners of hurricane-affected states. After seeing the damage on the television, it occurs to me that one bus filled with canned foods may not be enough. Still, I am loathe to expand the effort. While it is possible we could rent other vehicles in order to transport more canned items, there is no time left between now and the election to have my name painted on the side of those other vehicles, and so the commoners would not know who was helping them by transporting those goods.
Some reporters tried to ask me questions today, even though I have made it quite clear that I have already answered the right number of questions during this campaign and would not be answering any others. As retaliation, I instructed the staff to wait until the campaign event was over, then throw cans of food at them. It is going to be quite uproarious.
No comments:
Post a Comment