Romney campaign: Don't worry, Jews, you can vote for Romney because Roe v. Wade

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, this story is so full of fail:

[A]t a Republican Jewish Coalition event on Monday, former senator and top Romney surrogate Norm Coleman (R-MN) was asked to address the concerns of 'voters who are worried about the influence of religious conservatives on the Republican Party.'

All right, let's stop right there. First of all, Republican Jews? All both of them? Second, Norm Coleman? That whiny has-been who got his ass handed to him by Al Franken in 2008 and pretty much disappeared off the face of the Earth? That guy? Real voice of influence in the Republican Party now, isn't he? And third, voters who are actually concerned about the influence of religious conservatives apparently missed the memo that the Republican Party is now completely devoted to writing Christian Shariah law into the Constitution, so if they're really worried about all that Bible-humping, they may want to consider, you know, an alternate political party.

So how did Coleman assure his fellow Jews that there's room for them in the American Taliban?

The reality is, uh, choice is an issue for a lot of people, an important issue. President Bush was president eight years, Roe v. Wade wasn't reversed. He had two Supreme Court picks, Roe v. Wade wasn't reversed. It's not going to be reversed.

That's reassuring, isn't it? Don't worry about the influence of the religious fundamentalists, fellow Jews, because the Supreme Court won't overturn Roe v. Wade. See? Doesn't that make you feel better about voting for the guy who's going to retroactively turn your grandmother who died in the Holocaust into a Mormon? Vote Mitt!

Of course, the wink wink from Coleman is just the latest in a bizarre strategy by the Romney campaign to keep the Republican base happy by promising that Romney'who has held every single possible position on abortion, from vowing to protect Roe v. Wade to supporting a constitutional amendment to ban abortion in all instances'really is one of them. Not that they believe it. As the president of Personhood USA said in May, "At the end of the day, I don't believe he is pro-life. I guess I could be blunt; I could go through a list."

That's why, once again, the fetus fetishists are nervous:

'[Norm] Coleman is out there as a Romney surrogate running up the white flag of surrender on the sanctity of human life ' 'it's not going to be reversed,'' said Bryan Fischer, a top official at the socially conservative American Family Association, in an email to TPM.

This dumb assurance from Coleman will now certainly necessitate further reassurance from the Romney campaign that, no no, he really will try his darndest to deny women their reproductive rights. Just as the campaign was forced to do earlier this month, when Romney made the mistake of promising that abortion is not part of his "legislative agenda." His campaign immediately had to correct him and then get on the phone with all the most prominent anti-choice organizations to double pinky swear that of course Romney will focus on anti-choice legislation. Of course! Vote Mitt!

It's astonishing the Romney campaign allows the candidate or any of his surrogates to go anywhere near this topic. It certainly doesn't help Romney with women voters. It won't help him woo Jewish voters either. The one thing it will do is remind everyone, regardless of political ideology, that Mitt Romney cannot be trusted. By anyone.

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