Good news, ladies. We are all sluts today!

Happy slut pill day! For some Americans, today is indeed a very sad day.

For the Catholic bishops who think vaginas make Jesus cry, and for their elected puppets in Congress who do their bidding by writing laws according to what their priests tells them. Oh, and for Hercules Industries, Inc., the air conditioning and heating company that, unless saved by an activist judge, will be forced to distribute ventilation systems that are not Bible-compliant.

However. For the rest of us:

Beginning today, up to 47 million women may be eligible to get free access to preventive health care services as that provision of President Barack Obama's Affordable Care Act goes into effect.

And you know what is included in those preventive health care services, right, ladies? Well-woman visits, gestational diabetes screening for pregnant women, HPV screening (to make sure we don't get cancer in our lady parts), testing for sexually transmitted diseases and, best of all:

Women will have free access to all FDA-approved contraceptive methods, sterilization procedures and patient education and counseling without a co-pay.

In other words, slut pills for everyone!

In February, Speaker of the House John Boehner threatened to overrule the American people on behalf of the American people by trying to take their much-loved, broadly supported birth control away from them:

If the president does not reverse the Department's attack on religious freedom, then the Congress, acting on behalf of the American people and the Constitution we are sworn to uphold and defend, must.

Yeah, well. The president did not reverse himself, Congress hasn't been able to stop it, and Americans haven't exactly been rising up in angry masses to beg John Boehner to take their health care in the name of the Lord.

So, ladies, today is the day. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act and President Obama, we can be as slutty as we wanna be and pop all those delicious slut pills without it costing us a dime.

Or you could just be retro and put an aspirin between your knees. Some say that works.