Allen West lashes out at White House Correspondents Dinner

Allen West: Not so much a congressman as a
satirical representation of a congressman.
  Rep. Allen West (R-FL), well known around these parts as being one of the nation's most aggressively stupid congressmen, went to the White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend'but only so he could get instructions on how to get away from there, of course. Because it's evil and sinful, as West grumbled afterwards on Facebook, the only outlet that is truly a match for his special kind of wisdom.

"While the President laughs and dines, our Constitutional Republic is eroding and my countrymen are suffering. In this election year, it is sad to think that some of those who were sitting in that ballroom Saturday night laughing and living it up, are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country," West wrote.

Yes, yes. The country is going down the crapper, and only Allen West has figured out that it's because the president makes jokes at Mitt Romney's expense during the media's annual running of the bullpoop. Perhaps there were too few jokes about not finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq (always a favorite of mine; every good joke needs a body count behind it). Perhaps it was Jimmy Kimmel making a cruel joke about West, right in front of him, offending West's deeply held belief that you should only insult someone when you are far away from them and don't think you're being filmed. Perhaps the dinner rolls were all secret Marxists. Now, one would think that West would not have attended at all, since he was offended by the whole concept, but there's always the distinct possibility that Allen West just did not know what the White House Correspondents Dinner was when he showed up for it. My goodness, there is joking here? And a dinner?

Having said that, let us all agree that any event that sees Fox News personalities hanging out with Kardashians, or that requests Rick Effing Santorum formulate a thought or two about Lindsay Effing Lohan after posing for a photograph with her, is a curse upon this planet and all who inhabit it. For some reason the journalists of Washington think it would be a lovely hoot each year to hang around with inexplicable celebrities and have the current president and/or other targets of their deep and very serious reporting or punditizing perform a few little skits for them; the rest of us largely fail to see the point, but that is because we are not Washington journalists, and possibly because most of us are not dead inside. Most of us can't deduce why the White House press corps does any given thing on any given day to begin with, even without the obvious influence of alcohol, so this particular gala has always been a baffling exercise.

It is a pity, though. This was Allen West's one chance to discuss his ideas of governance with a group of his truest peers, and he seems to have blown it. Surely, Interchangeable Kardashian Presence would have been fascinated by his ideas on who in Congress is or is not a member of the Communist Party. Lohan might have been eager to hear how black Americans become unrecognizable menaces when donning hoodies, or how the aforementioned Communists are actually Nazis. Talk about the networking opportunities!

But no, he has to be a grump about it. What a missed opportunity.