GOP Madness, Sour 16, Match 8

Time to close out the second round! The bracket is here.  

The quarterfinals will begin next Monday, with the GOP debate audience booing the gay soldier facing off against the thousands of women Herman Cain didn't molest, Rick Santorum's no sex for pleasure battling Rick Perry's drunken speech, a Mitt Romney (Etch-a-Sketch) versus Mitt Romney (he doesn't care about the poor) contest, and Mitt Romney's "corporations are people, my friends!" challenge against whoever wins today.

1. RICK SANTORUM TELLS PUERTO RICANS TO SPEAK AMERICAN

Rick Santorum "campaigns" in Puerto Rico What kind of moron goes to Puerto Rico and tells the voters there to speak English if they want to be American?

While Santorum said it was not the role of the president to advocate for Puerto Rico's statehood, he said, 'To me, it doesn't make any sense to be in America and not want to be a state and have full rights as a United States citizen.'

"Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law," Santorum said. "And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language."

Any such federal law is nativist fantasy, of course, while Puerto Ricans are already United States citizens. So, instead of spending valuable time stateside ahead of a critical primary in Illinois, Santorum spent several precious days in Puerto Rico insulting voters en route to a 83-8 shellacking.

2. GOP AUDIENCE CHEERS "LET HIM DIE!"

BLITZER: A healthy 30-year-old young man has a good job, makes a good living, but decides, you know what? I'm not going to spend $200 or $300 a month for health insurance because I'm healthy, I don't need it. But something terrible happens, all of a sudden he needs it.

Who's going to pay if he goes into a coma, for example?  Who pays for that?

PAUL: Well, in a society that you accept welfarism and socialism, he expects the government to take care of him.

BLITZER: Well, what do you want?

PAUL: But what he should do is whatever he wants to do, and assume responsibility for himself. My advice to him would have a major medical
policy, but not be forced '

BLITZER: But he doesn't have that. He doesn't have it, and he needs intensive care for six months. Who pays?

PAUL: That's what freedom is all about, taking your own risks. This whole idea that you have to prepare and take care of everybody '
(APPLAUSE)

BLITZER: But Congressman, are you saying that society should just let him die?

CROWD: Yes! Yeah! (LAUGHTER)

It's funny when people die.