GOP Madness, Round 1, Match 15

Just two more contests before we wrap up the first round. The bracket thus far is here. The winner today will face off in the Sweet 16 against Rick Perry's "oops" moment.

1. MICHELE BACHMANN AND POGO THE CLOWN SHARE THE SAME KIND OF SPIRIT

Michele Bachmann announced her candidacy for president in Waterloo, Iowa, where she was born, and had an inspirational message for the locals:

Well, what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too.

She really has the spirit of a serial killer and rapist who murdered 33 young men and teens? Because it wasn't this John Wayne who lived in Waterloo:
It was this one:
... and I'm sure that the last thing Waterloo, Iowa wanted was to be reminded of this blot on their history.

On the other hand, now that we know that Bachmann is channeling Gacy's spirit, all her craziness starts to make sense.

2. MITT ROMNEY THINKS CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE, MY FRIENDS

Mitt Romney, waxing poetic about his favorite people: those with "LLC" and "Corp" in their names:

Corporations are people, my friend... of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings my friend.

Yup. Like people, corporations can get married, unless they are the same sex in North Carolina. And when they do wrong, like dumping millions of gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico, they go to jail. And when they do really wrong, like get people killed, they can be executed.

Isn't that how it works?

No? Then Romney can go fuck himself. But hey, now we know that when Romney talks about policies that help people, he's not talking about the human kind.