Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better. The inquiries as to my Bain tenure, my tax returns and other financial matters have, if anything, gotten more intense. I am still not sure I understand what all the fuss is about. The notion of inspecting another person's wealth is not, of course, foreign to me, but to me there has always been only one relevant question: whether an individual's finances are of the right height. Commoner unit obsessions over how that wealth was made or whether it was deserved are, frankly, bizarre.
What did it matter which year I left Bain, my own company? I still made the same amount of money either way. What concern is it if one of the companies I invested my wealth in was a medical company that, among other things, disposed of aborted fetuses? That could very well have been one of the times I was a pro-choice individual, I cannot keep track.
I will admit, Mr. Diary'my memory of those years is quite vague. While I have a fine memory for many things, things that have happened to me from my birth to the time I entered this current campaign are, at best, elusive. I remember the haircut incident, dressing like a Michigan trooper, marching with Martin Luther King Jr., France, and certain parts (but not other parts) of the Olympic games. My staff reminds me I was once a governor, but their stories of that time seem rather implausible, so I am not sure I truly believe them.
One possibility we are currently testing is to simply tell the commoner units that while certain things may have happened, retroactively speaking they did not happen. Such statements are a common prerogative of wealth units, so commoners will likely easily understand them. The press are being more irritating; I am seriously considering sending my bus to honk its horn repeatedly at all of them.
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