Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Chronicles of Mitt: July 13, 2012

pen on paper: 'Dear diary'   Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.

The questions about my tenure at Bain, specifically about the period of time I was not at Bain but still in charge of it, except when I was not in charge of it, depending on who is asking, have continued to mount. We briefly tried to convince reporter units to choose a different topic of discussion by announcing that it was possible that we were not going to be choosing a boring white male as my vice presidential unit after all, but nobody truly believed that we would really choose someone who was not a boring white male, so it was a bit of a dud.

In an effort to give this story the best possible haircut, we therefore decided that I would be breaking my famous media silence and granting interviews to reporter units from each major network so that I can give them my version of events. These interviews accomplished, I cannot wait to watch the television device tonight to find out what I said.


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