Mitt plans to hide behind Ann's skirts 'cause Obama's so mean

I'll let my wife do my talking for me.
Then you can't criticize me. Oh, this is just too good to be true:

[T]he Romney campaign could begin using the candidate's sympathetic wife as a shield.

In an interview with BuzzFeed about the Obama campaign's recent assault on Romney's personal finances, a Romney adviser repeatedly brought up Ann Romney's name unprompted, arguing that the attacks were aimed at her as well.

There's no way this story could be true, though, because if it were true, it would look as if Mitt Romney has run out of lies and retroactive explanations to avoid answering those nagging questions about his finances'you know, the very reason he says he should be president, on account of how super-awesome he is at, like, finances. (Except at Bain, where he had nothing to do with anything. Or at the Olympics where he had nothing to do with anything. Or as governor of Massachusetts, where he had nothing to do with anything.)

This story could not possibly be true because if it were true, the Romney campaign would be admitting they've got no real answers and are going for the ultimate Hail Mary. If it were true, it would be the most despicably cynical attempt to hide behind a spouse since Rick Santorum blamed his wife for writing that stuff in his book people didn't like.

After insisting that spouses are off limits, after claiming that St. Ann is beyond reproach, after Ann herself said she just loves being "attacked" as long as she can milk it'the Romney team is going to outright admit they're all out of ideas so they're just going to use Ann as a shield.

How in the world is that going to work?

"I think when they refer to Mitt, suggesting there was something illegal or untoward about how they managed their financial affairs, they're talking about Ann by extension, because she signed those tax returns." the adviser said.

Ohhhhhhhh. Right. When "they" say Mitt should just release his damn tax returns already so we can see the evidence of his financial super-awesomeness, "they" are actually attacking Ann. Which you're not allowed to do because you're never allowed to ever say anything ever about a candidate's spouse, even when the candidate says his spouse is his foremost expert on lady issues; even when his spouse is an official surrogate of the campaign; even when his spouse ... Well, you get the idea.

Maybe the Mitt team is right. After all, it's only those dirty commie Obama-loving, Kool-Aid drinking liberals who want a look at Mitt's finances. Like George Will. And Matthew Dowd. And Bill Kristol. Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour. And Texas Gov. Rick Perry. And Rep. Ron Paul. And those radical Marxists at The National Review. They're the only ones who think Mitt could just clear up all the questions right now if he released his tax returns. Like his dad did.

But no. Apparently, those tax returns are just far too dangerous for public consumption. So as the speculation grows about what Mitt's hiding, don't expect the Mitt team to actually answer that question. He'll be too busy hiding behind his wife to answer.