Mike Huckabee raises money for Citizens United to battle Obama's 'political whores'

Symptoms of early onset Limbaughtis include hallucinations involving liberals,
reduced pot/kettle awareness, and the irresistible urge to call people whores. The question before us today: Has former governor and common Republican fantasy presidential candidate Mike Huckabee lost his ever loving mind? BuzzFeed got hold of a fundraising letter from Huckabee sent to "supporters of Citizens United," bringing us all a taste of what the top echelons of conservatism are up to these days, when they're talking among themselves. Some excerpts:

Look, you're a conservative and so am I. We can agree, the day that Barack Obama was sworn into office as our 44th President, was the day the country started going to pot.

Things were peachy before then, apparently, which raises the question of just how f-d up the economy would have had to have gotten before Mike Huckabee and other "conservatives" thought maybe there was a goddamn problem somewhere.

Listen, you're a person of faith and so am I. In his administration and now on his re-election campaign, President Obama has surrounded himself with morally repugnant political whores with misshapen values and gutter level ethics.

I guess when you're a "person of faith," you can call anyone you want a whore. People of faith like to hang out with upstanding lads like Karl Rove, lunchmeat of liberty, and his multimillion dollar anonymously-donated war chest with which to smear candidates while skirting campaign laws. You know, as opposed to morally repugnant whores!

Thank goodness, my good friend David Bossie and Citizens United is stepping into the gap.

David Bossie led the Congressional investigation into the Clintons in the 90's...so you know he knows how to take on the liberals.

Sweet merciful crap. "And while we are talking about whores, let me introduce my fine friend here ..."

I love America too much to sit idly by while the Obama agenda destroys it. Our freedom and our future depend on a fair election and I've been around enough Washington-knows-best Liberals to know they don't fight fair. They never have and they never will. [...] Let's face it: the liberal media loves President Obama and his ultra-liberal agenda so much it sends shivers up their legs. In their eyes, glazed over with utter adoration, he can do no wrong.

I'm not buying that malarkey for a second.

Hey, remember when Mike Huckabee was being propped up as the moderate one, the guy who was serious and full of Jesus and who independents would like because he was just so damn moderate and likable? Yeah, I remember that. Good times. I guess it's saying words like "malarkey" that make someone seem homespun and not-at-all crawling-up-the-walls batshit crazy. The entire world is doomed unless we stop the evil liberal conspiracy that has consumed all of Washington and the media, but we won't stand for that malarkey, will we? Not us, not a crooked old Clinton conspiracy theorist who was so unethical that he managed to get himself canned by the Newt-era House Republicans, not his Citizens United organization dedicated to peddling whatever conspiracy horseshit they can get on the airwaves, all with the new blessings of the Roberts court, not anybody! Malarkey!

There are a number of possibilities here. One: Mike Huckabee has, in fact, always been a rather batshit-insane fellow who learned how to write from studying unpublished newspaper op-eds submitted to the editors on things like socks and luncheon meat. His previous persona was merely a facade enabled by press advisers and heavy doses of Vicodin. Two: Some idiot intern sent this out on Mike Huckabee stationery, and Mike Huckabee is hunting him down even now for making him look like a barely literate, frothy tool in front of the entire nation. Three: Minister Mike Huckabee is practicing for his radio role as the new Rush Limbaugh, and needs to work things like "you're a whore, you whore" into as many conversations as possible. Four: Mike Huckabee has, as hypothesized earlier, completely lost his effing mind.

In any event, it's quite the look inside conservative direct-mail efforts. This is what the biggest names in the party look like, unfiltered by any need to kowtow to those damned swing voters. It's nothing but vitriol and conspiracy theories, all the way down.

2:35 PM PT: Well, that was quick. It looks like we'll be going with Option Two:

"This was a complete surprise to me," Gov. Huckabee said in a statement to POLITICO, sent via a spokesperson. "I most certainly did not approve such language and would never have used that kind of repulsive rhetoric. I repudiate that language, find it offensive to me, and have ordered that it be pulled immediately." [...] Jeff Marschner, a spokesman for Citizens United, "categorically denies" the letter was sent by his organization.

3:10 PM PT: A modified Option Two, it looks like:

How about that: Citizens United retracts its denial that it mailed the Huckabee letter, now sys it was a "test" http://t.co/...

' @BuzzFeedBen via TweetDeck
Ah, the old overzealous-intern-and/or-wasn't-meant-to-be-seen bit. I love that one.