Lady Republicans form congressional caucus to say 'women' a lot

Awwwwww. This is so cute!

After repeatedly being accused of participating in a legislative "war on women," Republican women in the House of Representatives announced Monday that they're forming a new caucus dedicated to raising their profile as female lawmakers and presenting a "unified voice" on issues that affect women.

You can tell that the Women's Policy Committee is going to be great for women because it's got "women" right in the title! And isn't it so super awesome how there's going to be a caucus in Congress'for the first time ever'presenting a "unified voice" on issues that affect women? It's, like, historical! You know, if you don't count the Congressional Caucus for Women's Issues, which has been around since 1977 and considers bipartisanship (that means you too, lady Republicans) "the key to the Caucus' strength and success."

So why would the lady Republicans need their own caucus? Because that other caucus'the one that's been around for more than three decades'doesn't focus on the real issues that real women really care about. For example:

'When I am back home visiting with women in my district, the number one concern I hear is that the uncertainty in Washington about regulation, litigation and taxation is hindering their ability to innovate and create jobs,' said [Rep. Marsha] Blackburn in a statement.

Isn't that the truth? Ladies, how many times have you been up late at night, balancing the household budget, when you thought to yourself, "Gosh, I can't even concentrate on how to pay the rent when there's so much uncertainty in Washington"? How many times have you been so distracted watching Junior's soccer game because all you can think is, "Dammit, I wish this school's soccer field was subject to less regulation! It could really use a damn oil well over there"?

Well, worry no more, because the lady Republicans are totally going to focus on that kind of stuff, instead of the silly special interest caterpillar claptrap that the other caucus has focused on for more than three decades. Such as:

The Pregnancy Discrimination Act

The Child Support Enforcement Act

The Retirement Equity Act

The Civil Rights Restoration Act

The Women's Business Ownership Act

The Breast and Cervical Cancer Mortality Prevention Act

The Mammography Quality Standards Act

The Family and Medical Leave Act

The Violence Against Women Act

The Commission on the Advancement of Women and Minorities in Science, Engineering, and Technology Development Act

Reauthorization of the Mammography Quality Standards Act

See? Not a single women's issue on that list! That's why the lady Republicans are clearly filling a void:

'The Women's Policy Committee was formed with the idea of better educating Members on the issues that impact women on a daily basis, whether they be mothers, daughters, or small business owners."

Mothers, daughters or small business owners. You can tell from its list of accomplishments that the other caucus doesn't even think about mothers (The Pregnancy Discrimination Act) or daughters (The Child Support Enforcement Act) or  small business owners (The Women's Business Ownership Act). That's why we obviously need the lady Republicans and their new Women's Policy Committee to offer a real "unified voice on issues that affect women." Such as:

 

And in case you were thinking maybe their new video (above) might list some of the specific policies the lady Republicans are totally going to focus on'once they find the time in their busy schedule of blocking renewal of the Violence Against Women Act, trying to defund Planned Parenthood, and opposing the Paycheck Fairness Act because it's so not fair to the menfolk to make them pay ladies equal wages'sorry to disappoint. The lady Republicans don't mention a single policy in their video, unless "giving families the freedom to succeed" is a policy. But at least they do say "women" a lot, and everyone knows that as long as you say "women" a lot, the policies you support or oppose don't really matter.