This week in the War on Women: Believe in equality? You're just like Hitler

The Catholic Church is sounding more and more like the Republican Party these days. And both are getting awfully sick of uppity sluts'including the President Slut-in-Chief Obama'and their concerns about such anti-Jesus things like health care and equality.

Earlier this week, Catholic Bishop Daniel Jenky delivered a sermon in which he expressed his Godly concerns:

Hitler and Stalin, at their better moments, would just barely tolerate some churches remaining open, but would not tolerate any competition with the state in education, social services, and health care.

In clear violation of our First Amendment rights, Barack Obama ' with his radical, pro abortion and extreme secularist agenda, now seems intent on following a similar path.

Because before Hitler started slaughtering millions, he offered them all free birth control, right?

The "abortion=Holocaust" framing has long been favored among forced birthers, but one would think that such blatantly false and inflammatory rhetoric would be beneath the dignity of so-called men of God.

One would be wrong.

But the president isn't the only target of the Church's ire and frustration with the dirty sluts of America who believe there's nothing immoral about women's health care and equality. This week, the Vatican attacked another segment of America that it believes is part of the radical Hitlerian agenda to make Jesus cry: nuns.

The Vatican has launched a crackdown on the umbrella group that represents most of America's 55,000 Catholic nuns, saying that the group was not speaking out strongly enough against gay marriage, abortion and women's ordination.

Rome also chided the Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR) for sponsoring conferences that featured "a prevalence of certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith." [...]

Many bishops were angered when LCWR and Network, along with the Catholic Health Association, endorsed President Obama's health care reform over the bishops' objections. LCWR and Network recently endorsed Obama's compromise with the bishop over a mandate to provide insurance coverage for birth control for employees at religious institutions, even as the bishops continue to fight it.

Oh, those naughty nuns, radical feminazis all, daring to oppose the bishops by supporting health care for women. Something must be done! That's why the Church issued a five-year plan for mandatory reforms, presumably meaning precise instructions on how to sufficiently ramp up the bigotry and hate to the pope's liking.

Sister Simone Campbell, head of the organization, responded:

I've no idea what they're talking about [...] Our role is to live the gospel with those who live on the margins of society. That's all we do.

Caring more about "those who live on the margins of society" than whether Adam and Steve are registered at Macy's? Shocking! Radical!

But Sister Campbell says the nuns won't go down without a fight:

It's totally a top-down process and I don't think the bishops have any idea of what they're in for.

So why should the rest of us, especially the non-Catholics among us, care about this interesting new intra-Church war? Because if the Vatican is willing to go all out against its own for supporting women's basic health care rights and other "radical feminist themes," that tells you how little they think of us non-habit-wearing dirty sluts who happen to agree with the nuns. The Vatican didn't just put the nuns on notice; they put all of us on notice. It doesn't matter that Jesus himself palled around with loose women, or had deep and loving relationships with a bunch of dudes. The Church has drawn a line in the sand, a line it has threatened to defend with lawsuits, hunger strikes, and even calls for violence.

The Church has openly, unapologetically joined the Republican Party in its war on women, even adopting some of its most extremist language. Respecting the role of women? Supporting their right to have an equal voice? Fighting for their access to all basic health care, including contraception and abortion? Screw you, you immoral radical feminazis. Dare to stand against the bishops, and you're just like Hitler. Amen.

Want to make the bishops and Republicans mad? Take a stand for women's equality:

• Sign the petition to Speaker John Boehner to tell him and the Republicans in Congress to support renewal of the Violence Against Women Act. Because all women'including, yes, lesbian women'deserve protection from violence and assault.
• Tell Congress to support the WORK Act. Because every mother should have the choice to stay home with her children.
• Donate to Planned Parenthood to support women's health care. Because that will really make them mad.

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This week's good, bad and ugly below the fold.