Saturday, April 28, 2012

Republican men to study mysterious breed of Americans: Lady voters

scientists Republican focus group on lady voters hard at work.
May even include real ladies!

Exciting news, ladies! Big strong Republican men, apparently unable to get Mitt Romney's chief adviser on Stuff That Ladies Care AboutTM (aka, Mrs. Romney) on the phone, are taking it upon themselves to study us:

The new project, YGW, has a six-figure investment for launch and a target budget in the mid-seven figures, according to senior adviser Brad Dayspring. He declined to comment on who put up the funding. [...]

To start, the group is launching a four-pronged strategy 'survey research and focus group, building an online community, economic analysis and issue advocacy with the goal of understanding better what language and viewpoints appeal to women and establish itself as the hub for center-right women frustrated with the policy debate.

YGW'which apparently stands for "Young Guns Woman Up" (the "u" is silent, I guess) and not "Yuck. Girls. Whadatheywant?"'is the girl version of the Young Guns (for men only, it seems) started in 2007 by Republican Reps. Eric Cantor, Kevin McCarthy and Paul Ryan. Although evidence shows lady voters did exist in 2007, and some even cared about, like, politics 'n stuff, it wasn't until Republicans started feeling the effects of their totally non-existent War on Caterpillars Women that they started looking into maybe trying to tap into that heretofore unknown bloc of voters.

And they've already learned their lesson from Mitt's thus far failed "three-pronged strategy" to make the ladies like him, so they've added an extra prong, which should totally do the trick to close that gender gap.

It sure is an exciting time to be a lady voter, isn't it? All the menfolk fighting over little ol' us, trying to figure out what makes us tick, even forming focus groups to find out if "Shut up, you stupid girls, men are governing!" is in fact an effective campaign slogan.

Good luck with your studies, fellas. The lady voters of America look forward to hearing what you learn about us.


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