Sunday Talk: Known and unknown

Donald Rumsfeld once famously said:

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns'the ones we don't know we don't know."

And never has that been more true than with regard to Mitt Romney.

Here's what we know we know about the presumptive GOP nominee:

• He's not much of a singer; certainly no Barack Obama.
• 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin was a better candidate than him.
• He doesn't adhere to his church's teachings about lying.
• The waiters and waitresses who serve him refreshments are unhappy.
• Releasing his tax returns would hurt him politically, and he never would've run for president if he thought he'd have to.

And here's what we know we don't know:

• What is he hiding, and where is he hiding it?
• How could he amass up to $100 million in his IRA during his time at Bain Capital?
• Who let the dogs out?
• Is he running for president, or for first lady?
• What the hell does "retired retroactively" mean?
• Did he personally endorse an amnesty program?
• Is Schrödinger's cat alive, dead, or both (simultaneously)?

I'm not exactly sure what we don't know we don't know, but I think maybe that was Rumsfeld's whole point.

Perhaps you people can help me out with that one.