Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better. I am still preparing for the debate, Mr. Diary, so I cannot write. I have been practicing being likable to commoners for many months now, and am nearly ready to unveil the results of my hard work. Mr. Portman says I should do fine as long as I only say things we have practiced and do not call voters bad names, even the slackabouts, but I still think I ought to come up with more zinged statements. Perhaps I shall come up with a few just to surprise my team? I want to show them how hard I have been preparing for this. Goodbye for now, Mr. Diary, I shall write more tomorrow.
More possible zinged statements?
America has nothing to fear except all of the following things I am about to enumerate.
I have many empathies for the poor. I have so many empathies for the poor that I have been forced to install a separate elevator in order to organize them all.
I definitely know what empathies are, and am insulted you would ask that.
Unlike you, Mr. President, I am not fired up and ready to go. Being fired up is a good way to receive burns. Your supporters are dumb and their actions are dangerous.
I also disapprove of the replacement referees, and of all referees. A free market requires that each player determine for themselves which rules they believe they should follow.
I do not have time to explain that right now.
I have to go to the bathroom (use only in emergency)
I wish to be the president of 100 percent of Americans, even the half of them that are lazy and shiftless.
The answer to that is very complex and me answering it would be dull. In conclusion, I enjoy puppies kittens.
My servants staff will get back to you on that.
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