Paul Ryan insists he still has crazy views on abortion that his running mate finds 'offensive'

Oh, look, another pathetic FAIL from the Romney campaign. Must be a day that ends in "y."

'I'm very proud of my pro-life record,' Ryan told WJHL-TV in Virginia Wednesday in an interview aired Thursday. 'I've always adopted the idea, the position, that the method of conception doesn't change the definition of life.' [...]

'Let's remember, I'm joining the Romney-Ryan ticket and the president makes policy,' Ryan told the station. 'And in this case, the future president Mitt Romney has exceptions for rape, incest and life of the mother. Which is a vast improvement of where we are right now.'

This isn't the first time this week that Paul Ryan has been forced by the Romney campaign to pretend that he considers Mitt's Romney's new "exceptions" for abortion acceptable. We know he doesn't; he's one of the most rabid Republicans in the House when it comes to stripping women of their rights. (Yeah, yeah. Saying "one of the most rabid Republicans" is like saying "one of the coldest ice cubes." But anyway.)

Paul Ryan believes that abortion should be banned in all circumstances. He doesn't care if you've been raped. He doesn't care if your pregnancy is going to kill you. As long as the sacred fetus is protected, he really doesn't care what happens to the mother. And nothing is more "pro-life" than saying, "Eh, who cares if a woman dies?"

It's a far more honest position to take than Mitt Romney's position. Well, his latest position, anyway. (He used to believe in protecting women's reproductive rights and had no problem profiting off a company that disposed of aborted fetuses, but that's nothing a little Etch-A-Sketch shaking can't fix, right?)

So now Romney believes that life begins at conception, and our Constitution should be amended to say so because all life is precious and sacred'unless, according to Ryan's latest interview, that life is created through rape or incest or might kill the mother, in which case, it isn't so sacred after all so abortion is okay. Giving lip service to these arbitrary and discriminatory exceptions is the coward's way out, trying to claim reasonableness because it's not as extreme as it could be. So of course Mitt Romney likes that. This week, anyway.

But Mitt Romney has also insisted that Paul Ryan's position is "offensive," at least, when Paul Ryan's position is articulated by Todd Akin. Romneyland's first response to Akin's comments about rape and abortion:

"Governor Romney and Congressman Ryan disagree with Mr. Akin's statement, and a Romney-Ryan administration would not oppose abortion in instances of rape," Andrea Saul, a Romney spokesperson, told The Huffington Post.

Romneyland's second reaction:

'Congressman's Akin comments on rape are insulting, inexcusable, and, frankly, wrong,' Romney said. 'Like millions of other Americans, we found them to be offensive.' [...]

'I have an entirely different view,' Romney said. 'What he said is entirely without merit and he should correct it.'

The problem? Paul Ryan and Todd Akin share the same position. They both want to ban abortions in all cases, they both think rape is sometimes not really rape and we need laws to stop those not-really-raped women from cashing in on all the perks and benefits of being really-raped. Ryan and Akin have co-sponsored the same draconian bills to restrict women's basic health care and have voted the same way 93 percent of the time.

So Paul Ryan holds the most extreme views possible. And Mr. Top of the Ticket has an "entirely different view" and finds his own running mate's position offensive, not to mention wrong.

Is this not the most awkward presidential ticket ever?