Open Thread for Night Owls: Judge Head, the United Nations, and you

This local news clip is noteworthy only because it presents one of the only recent instances in which I've heard a conservative officeholder argue for a tax increase. Not for the sake of improving infrastructure, mind you, or for gaining better services, or in order to fund projects to help decrease the local crime rate'no, the reason Judge Tom Head supports a 0.017 percent property tax hike is to prepare Lubbock County, Texas to defend themselves from an invasion of United Nations troops called in by Obama to quell the violent unrest that will be caused by Obama's reelection.
(FOX 34, via Talking Points Memo)

'I'm thinking worst case scenario now,' Head said during an appearance on FOX 34 in Lubbock. 'Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war, maybe. And we're not talking just a few riots here and demonstrations, we're talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy.' [...]

He said he feared Obama would hand over sovereignty of the United States to the United Nations and the unrest would naturally follow.

But fear not, America, because Judge Tom Head will personally defend Lubbock County from the upcoming U.N. invasion. And that's where you come in, dear Lubbock County residents. Your .017 cents per dollar property tax increase will go towards helping to train the Lubbock County sheriff's department to battle against the United Nations forces.

'And the sheriff, I've already asked him, I said, 'You gonna back me?'' the judge said. 'He said, 'Yeah, I'll back you.' Well, I don't want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me.'

I can honestly say that it is going to be very ... surprising ... if the only thing standing between us and the encroaching armies of the United Nations is the Lubbock County sheriff's office.

As has been amply demonstrated by the state's current governor, there are no competency requirements for holding office in Texas, so it is unlikely that Mr. Head's comments will much affect his career doing whatever it is he does. There is also no word on whether or not the Red Dawn remake will be hastily re-cut to match Judge Head's predictions, but I would heartily advise it, because let's face it: That sounds pretty cool. I am not sure the United Nations makes for a more credible threat than the North Korean army, but in general you should not choose, as your fictional invaders, a force that could be easily subdued by offering them sandwiches.

That said, I am not particularly worried about the U.N. as invaders either. Since every solid arch-conservative knows that United Nations forces travel almost exclusively via energy-efficient vehicles, we should be fine so long as we prevent our government from constructing any more bicycle paths.

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