Pretend President Romney heads to Louisiana to tour Isaac damage

As of late Thursday night, nearly three-quarters of New Orleans had no power. Given that Louisiana is still in the middle of its recovery effort from Hurricane Isaac and that Mitt Romney has no role to play whatsoever in that effort, this seems like an odd and self-centered distraction:

Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney will head to Louisiana to tour damage from Hurricane Isaac.

Romney has scheduled a last-minute visit Friday to Lafitte, La., where he will tour damage with Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal. The storm canceled the first day of Romney's Republican convention, and his campaign has been considering a visit for several days. [...]

In Louisiana, Romney will thank emergency first responders for their work.

As he thanks those first responders, I hope Mr. Romney will reconsider his words from just two months ago, when he mocked President Obama for seeking more funding for first responders.

"He [President Obama] says we need more fireman, more policeman, more teachers," Romney said on June 8 of this year. "Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It's time for us to cut back on government and help the American people."

Maybe with his tour today, Romney will realize just how wrong he was to mock President Obama for wanting to hire more first responders. But of course this really isn't about them, it's about the photo-op, and while Romney will make a big show of thanking them for their service, all the thank yous in the world don't make up for a pink slip. And if Mitt Romney gets his way in November, that's exactly what a lot of the people he sees today will get.

Joe Garcia takes big lead against criminal congressman

Joe Garcia. The one on the right.

Beneson Strategy Group for Joe Garcia (D). 8/20-22. Registered voters. No trend lines.

David Rivera (R) 40
Joe Garcia (D) 49

What's amazing about this poll is that the numbers suggest that voters aren't aware of Rep. David Rivera's incompetently criminal behavior. Garcia's numbers track Pres. Barack Obama's 50-40, and a generic ballot generated a 45-37 advantage for the Democratic candidate.

The caution: Obama and John McCain split this district 50-50 in 2008, so the sample might be optimistic. But worst-case scenario, it's a tied game. And that's before the DCCC and Garcia campaign start blasting the airwaves with news about Rivera's ethics.

We won't bump the Orange One without winning this district, so give $3 to get us one seat closer to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and one good Democrat closer to a real progressive majority.

The Love-Me-Mitt Doll!

Remember to follow @DailyKosComics !

Deep thoughts from Mitt Romney

He's trying to sound human, he really, really is:

Romney in Louisiana, per pool: "Did the water come from the sky, or the rivers, or the ocean?"
' @elisefoley via TweetDeck Yes. Yes it did.

Giving him a bit of credit, he's probably just trying to catch people in insurance loopholes. Sky-water, land-water and sea-water are three separate clauses. Oh well, I hope at least Mini-Mitt is doing better today at bonding with the commoners ...

Ryan was just asked about abortion. Answer dealt with voter ID.
' @ZekeJMiller via Tweetbot for iOS
Sigh.

We've still got over two months to go, huh? I think I'm gonna need more aspirin.

Ann Romney is a terrible person, part eleventy billion

Good freakin' God, woman, just stop:

BRIAN KILMEADE (HOST): The report is after Mitt Romney lost to John McCain for the nomination, he got an offer from a fund, $30 million a year, go back into the financial world, have all types of success. How hard was the decision not to do that?

ROMNEY: Well, we're used to kind of passing offers up like that. For us, our life is not about making money. We've been very blessed financially. Our life is now about giving back. I always trust that Mitt can always make another dollar. Poor guy, he took no pay when he did the Olympics for three years and no pay when he was governor for four years.

Of course their life isn't about making money. They already have all the money! Europe isn't big enough to store all the money they have; that's why they have to spread it around to various exotic islands too.

This, from the same woman who said:

We can be poor in spirit, and I don't even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing, it can be here today and gone tomorrow.

Sure, that money may evaporate tomorrow'but then, Mitt's used to getting offers for $30 million-a-year jobs, so it's not like they need to worry. They did all their worrying back when they were a young couple, just starting out, really struggling in those "not easy years," as Ann said, trying to make ends meet with nothing more than the investment portfolio Mitt's daddy gave him, "living on the edge, not entertaining." Oh, the hardship!

This, from the woman who, when explaining how warm and fuzzy it makes her feel to donate her required tithing to her church, said:

I know this money is an indication of how much we trust God and love the principle of sacrifice. And it teaches us not to be too, too tied to the things of the world. And it is a very good reminder of how blessed we really are, and most of those blessings do not come from a financial source, but from the power above.

Guess God really loves them so much to keep sending them those offers of $30 million-a-year salaries they keep turning down because, hey, another one will come along tomorrow. But at least it's taught them not to be tied to things of the world'like Ann's couple of Cadillacs, or their vacation homes in every swing state in America, or the car elevator in their tear-down beach mansion. Does this woman ever listen to herself? EVER?

I'm guessing not, because this really takes the cake:

Poor guy, he took no pay when he did the Olympics for three years and no pay when he was governor for four years.

Poor guy? Poor guy? Poor guy who's constantly turning down tens of millions of dollars? Poor guy who cries when he donates money to his church? Poor guy?

Stay tuned for part eleventy billion and one ...

Ann Romney thinks lady voters are pretty dumb most of the time

This woman is truly awful:

I'm hearing from so many women that may not have considered voting for a Republican before, but said, "It's time for the grown-up to come, the man that's going to take this seriously, that's going to take the future of our children very, very seriously."

It's funny how anonymous women keep reporting things to Ann (that she can then report to Mitt so he doesn't have to talk to women directly) that seem, at best, unlikely, and more likely, pulled straight out of her pampered two-Cadillac-driving ass. These women keep telling Ann things that they're not telling anyone else'certainly not the pollsters out there who keep reporting back that women like President Obama much more than they like Mitt Romney; that women trust Obama more than they trust Romney; and that Romney kinda sorta scares the daylights out of them.

But Ann's not talking to those women. She's talking to the ones who think President Obama's not a "grown up"'which, according to my Dogwhistle-to-English dictionary, is a more subtle way of calling a grown black man "boy"'and that the not-grown-up Obama believes the "future of our children" is some laughing matter. If only the pollsters could find those women, Romney's chances might look better than they do.

As Mitt Romney's chief adviser on lady things, she's been reporting back to Mitt on what lady voters supposedly tell her they think, and she's so thrilled and delighted that he listens to her. But Ann doesn't really know what she's talking about, because when the Romney campaign is asked for comment on, say, women'well, gosh, they just cannot find a single "appropriate spokesperson." Suddenly, the nation's foremost confidante of lady voters doesn't have a thing to say.

But here's where Ann once again reveals herself to be just as mean and awkward and insulting as her husband:

I very much believe, Candy, that it's going to be an economic election, and I think a lot of women may be voting, this cycle around, in a different way than they usually are: that is, thinking about the economy, thinking about their own jobs, thinking about their husbands' jobs, but also thinking about the future.

Usually, we lady voters try not to hurt our ladybrains with serious things like the economy or our jobs or the future. We're far more likely to vote based on where we are in our menstrual cycle or whether we're having a good hair day. Sometimes, we just flip a stiletto: heel facing north, we vote Democrat; heel facing south, we vote Republican. After we find a big strong "grown up" man to tell us which way is which because you know how we ladies are with directions.

101 of Mitt Romney's loudest convention speech lip smacks

Dear Mitt: Please, please, please. Please, stop smacking your lips so much.

Seriously, though, congratulations to Mr. Romney for becoming the 2012 Republican presidential nominee. And for winning the first annual Daily Kos lip smacking world championship at the very same time. What an honor.

p.s.: Every single one of the 101 lip smacks in this video is unique.