Mike Huckabee comes out in support of Todd Akin

For all of the Republican hand-wringing about Todd Akin saying abominable things and demonstrating, once and for all, that his own attempts to legislate on women's medical issues are based on no actual knowledge of women's medical issues, the party's attempts to force him from the race have seemed a bit tepid. Akin, meanwhile, continues to gain support from anti-abortion Republican critters who are pretty sure Akin's problem was just that he uttered a "verbal gaffe" and don't particularly have a problem with him apparently willing to legislate medical issues based on fairy tales he got from crackpot mailing lists or the like because hey, that's what being a good Republican is all about, right? Screw you, science!

So Mike Huckabee is standing up for his good friend Todd Akin, who has been pushed around quite enough, thank you.

The Party's leaders have for reasons that aren't rational, left [Akin] behind on the political battlefield, wounded and bleeding, a casualty of his self-inflicted, but not intentional wound. In a Party that supposedly stands for life, it was tragic to see the carefully orchestrated and systematic attack on a fellow Republican.

First we had to hear about how Akin was practically being raped by his party. Now we've moved on to comparing him to a wounded soldier who the party wants to ... abort, I guess? Is that where we're going with this? Well, we're definitely doing well on the victimhood scorecards.

Not for a moral failure or corruption or a criminal act, but for a misstatement which he contritely and utterly repudiated. I was shocked by GOP leaders and elected officials who rushed so quickly to end the political life of a candidate over a mistaken comment in an interview.

Yep, we're going with the "abort" bit. Oh, good. And that Akin's opinions on how the womenfolks' bodies work were a mere misstatement, and not ignorant gibberish, propagandizing, anti-medical nonsense, and entirely fucking insane.

Is this what the party really thinks of principled pro-life advocates? Do we forgive and forget the verbal gaffes of Republicans who are "conveniently pro-life" for political advantage, but crucify one who truly believes that every life is sacred?

I think most of us did not have a problem with the Akin-believes-every-life-is-sacred part, but have a huge problem with the part about him being gobsmackingly, jawdroppingly ignorant about the stuff he professes as one of his life's great motivators. When you get to the age of Todd Akin and you still do not know how the female body works, perhaps you should back the big ol' legislation truck up a bit while you peruse a page or two of Basic Goddamn Medical Facts. Being of the opinion that no true rape causes pregnancy, or at least not enough of them to bother giving a shit about when passing legislation directly targeting that very thing you just opined on, is not a "verbal gaffe" in the conventional sense. It is an actual big deal. That is very much akin to the old tale of legislators writing bills to make the value of pi an even 3, in order to simplify stuff. To call it a verbal gaffe is to imply that you don't actually understand the core problem as everyone else sees it.

He made his mistake, but was man enough to admit it and apologize. I'm waiting for the apology from whoever the genius was on the high pedestals of our party who thought it wise to not only shoot our wounded, but run over him with tanks and trucks and then feed his body to the liberal wolves.

Okay, so far we've raped Akin, shot him, aborted him, shot him again, ran over him with a tank and fed his body to the wolves. This may be the most victimized politician ever, at this point. Oh, if only he had not opened his mouth and said all those profoundly ignorant things in the first place, he would never have had to be abortomurdershot.

I've heard the talk of new deadlines and the nonsense about the Republican Party running a 3rd party candidate, but I am no longer listening to that noise. The idea that our Party would continue to play games behind the scenes and feed the Democrats make-believe narrative of the GOP's fictional war on women is equally ridiculous.

Well, I think the fact that Todd Akin continues to hold his seat in the House and pass laws relating to medical issues that he has apparently been profoundly misunderstanding throughout his entire adult life is pretty ridiculous, too, but I'm not sitting here comparing it to the abortorape of the Republic. I do think, however, that if you do not want your party to be seen as waging a war on women, perhaps the very first fucking step might be to ensure you have basic medical knowledge about women before attempting to write nearly one thousand state and federal laws restricting their medical rights.

Or, alternatively, we can just call Todd Akin the victim here since when he started spouting brick-stupid things that showed he was profoundly misinformed about the very things he most eagerly wants to legislate on, people had the audacity to point out that was an astonishingly bad thing and perhaps we did not want brick-stupid legislators to be legislating things like that. And pointing that out is just the same as raping a man, shooting him, aborting him, driving over him in a tank, and feeding what remains of his corpse to the local wildlife.

Yes, that would definitely be the Republican thing to do.