C & J: Wednesday

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE

And now a word from our sponsor'

Hello, friends! This holiday season, it's important to remember all the wonderful people in your life who have been good to you in 2012.

But I'm here too remind you that it's also important to remember those bastards and jerks who've lied, cheated, swindled, insulted, extorted, threatened and otherwise tried to crap all over you in 2012. And America's coal industry will be there to help you express your true feelings'

'for the CEO who cancels employee bonuses except for the senior executive staff.

'for the political candidate who calls you a moocher, a cheater, a lazy bum or a slut.

One of these guys deserves coal
in his stocking. (Hint: white shirt.) ...for the health insurance provider who makes your life a living hell of paperwork, denials, and endless hoops.

'for the governors and legislatures who accept bribes from billionaires in exchange for dismantling unions, stealing elections and jeopardizing women's health.

...for the neighbor who backed over your posies and then denied it, even though the tire marks in your garden matched his Hummer's.

...for your sister-in-law who still sends you birther emails and sees communist infiltrators behind every tree.

'for those who say we must gut safety regulations in order to make an industry safer.

...for the coal company CEO who threatened his employees with termination if they failed to attend a Mitt Romney campaign photo-op stunt.

For everyone on your list who made your life miserable this year, there's only one holiday gift you can rely on to adequately say, "Suck on this, ya big jerk!" So call now and order a heapin' helpin' of 100 PERCENT PURE COAL.

One glance at that lump of bituminous blackness in their stocking and they'll get your message loud and clear.

Available in lignite, flame coal, gas coal, anthracite, coke and---for those really nasty peckerheads---coal ash slurry! Order today and get FREE shipping!

Coal: when you're pissed-off enough to send the very worst.

This message brought to you by the Holiday Coal Consortium, conveniently located next to that mountain over there with the top blown off. Wishing you and yours a holiday filled with glad tidings of mercury and joy!

C&J starts below the fold...