Conservative Super PAC says vote Republican because Abraham Lincoln

The actual ad. Warning: May cause extreme depression, possible hand-shaped bruises on forehead.
(via Talking Points Memo) I don't even know what to say to this. It's a new Republican Super PAC ad apparently actually playing in Ohio, and it announces'quote'the "major revelation" that Republicans really get black Americans because Obama sucks and Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, and since he was a Republican that means that Republicans are totally cool with black people forever, period, end of sentence, and LOOK WE HAVE A STOCK PHOTO OF BLACK PEOPLE, POSSIBLY STOLEN FROM SOME ADVERTISEMENT FOR LIFE INSURANCE, CHOLESTEROL MEDICATION, OR ANY ONE OF A THOUSAND OTHER PRODUCTS MORE APPEALING than a low-budget message to black Americans to ignore the larger part of the 20th century because OMG REMEMBER ABRAHAM LINCOLN YOU GUYS.

So the Republicans are now the party of civil rights, which is no doubt why they've been going on for decade after decade about states' rights and southern heritage and southern strategies and how the Confederate flag is great and putting up billboards warning minorities not to vote and ' you know what? I don't even have the energy. And from the looks of the ad, neither do they. A look at the Super PAC in question suggests that they may be an exceedingly low-budget group of lily-white crazy people trying to influence the election via a steady stream of stock photos and bullshit, which hardly seems to fit the purpose of being a Super PAC, which is to be a high-budget group of lily-white crazy people trying to influence the election via a steady stream of stock footage and bullshit. They're degrading the meaning of the word "Super." Stephen Colbert needs to sue these people for making a mockery of our God-and-SCOTUS-given American system of bullshit.

Next up: how Latinos should vote for Mitt Romney because he's, like, practically Mexican if you think about it the right way. No'I think we already did that one? I can't remember.

Next Tuesday. We just have to retain our sanity until next Tuesday. Wednesday, tops. Except next it'll be the lame duck session, when we get to find out why Abraham Lincoln would want us to screw over old people so that rich people can get better tax breaks. Oh, I can hardly wait to see the ads for that one.

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