Mitch McConnell wants a shoulder rub from President Obama, or something

Yeah, it's tiny. Remember what Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said in 2010 about the Republican Party's goal?

The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.

Well now it's 2012, and McConnell is about to enter his fifth year as the top Senate Republican'each of them in the minority. And he's still bellyaching about the fact that Barack Obama is president:

Shortly before Thanksgiving, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell delivered a blunt message in a private phone call to President Barack Obama: You won only four out of 120 Kentucky counties and lost many senators' home states.

McConnell was trying to pointedly warn Obama that mounting a public relations campaign to avert the fiscal cliff could backfire, according to sources familiar with the call.

Sorry, Mitch. This isn't the United States of Kentucky. Obama won, Romney lost, and the GOP is still in the minority in the Senate. I don't care how many counties in the Bluegrass state voted for Romney, those facts aren't changing. And as long as McConnell abuses the filibuster to thwart the will of the majority, he's got nothing to complain about. Of course, having nothing to complain about doesn't mean he won't complain. Just ask Sen. Lamar Alexander, one of his Republican buddies from Tennessee:

'I cannot imagine how the president of the United States can function without a good, strong relationship with the leader of the minority party in the Senate,' Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.), a close McConnell confidant, told POLITICO. 'You may be able to run a campaign without that, but you can't be a good president without that.'

Yes, if Obama would just figure out how to properly stroke Mitch McConnell's ego, they would have a stronger relationship and everything would be better. And until that happens, the nation will suffer:

'The country was damaged, I think, with the lack of relationship between the president and Mitch,' Alexander said. 'I put the responsibility on the president to correct the mistake in the second term, and the good place to do this is with fixing the debt.'

I have to say, Alexander makes a pretty compelling argument. If Obama could just figure out how to be nice to Mitch McConnell, then the constant threat of the filibuster would disappear, Rand Paul would join in a group singing of Kumbaya, and rainbows would start shooting out of Jim DeMint's ass. Sounds pretty good right? But something still tells me that filibuster reform is a better bet.