Tony Perkins blames prostitute scandal on gay people

You depress me. It's a typical day in America, so here's two crazy religious homophobes commiserating with each other on how neither Barack Obama nor Mitt Romney really hate the gay folks enough to satisfy religious homophobes (and really, isn't the entire purpose of religion to allow people to judge and control other people's sex lives? It's not? How odd, I could have sworn that was it).

One of the right-wing bigots in this case is Family Research Council head Tony Perkins, which makes it noteworthy because Tony Perkins is an omnipresent media voice for right-wing bigots. Want to know what a faux-religious right-wing jackass thinks about an issue? Call up Tony Perkins, he's their poster child. So here he is on the radio with fellow crazy right-wing bigot Janet Mefferd:

Mefford: [...] But we as Christians can't stand stop fighting on this issue, Tony, so what do we do when we're faced with a race where maybe we feel like the candidates are way too similar on this and both of them are wrong?

Perkins: Yeah, you know that's a great point. Just for a moment step back and look at the implications of this, over the weekend we saw the news of the President's Secret Service detail in Colombia and the issue of them hiring prostitutes and now the White House is outraged about that. Actually in a meeting this morning my staff asked, 'why should the President be upset'? It was actually legal; it was legal there to do that, so why should we be upset? Well, the fact is we intuitively know it's wrong, there's a moral law against that.

The same is true for what the President has done to the military enforcing open homosexuality in our military. You can change the law but you can't change the moral law that's behind it. You can change the positive law, the law that is created by man, but you can't change the moral law, it's wrong. So what you have is you have a total breakdown and you can't pick and choose. Morality is not a smorgasbord; you can't pick what you want. I think you're absolutely right, this is a fundamental issue going forward because if we say 'let them do what we want,' what's next? You cannot maintain moral order if you are willing to allow a few things to slide.

Got that? The Secret Service prostitute scandal is because gay people have been allowed in the military. Because it's weakening our morality, and making non-gay people do non-gay sex-for-hire things, and when you call them out on it they say, "I couldn't help it, there's gay people in the military now!"

I was going to go into great detail as to what the flying hell Mr. Tony Perkins might be thinking, but instead I'm just going to give up here. Not being a bigot causes you to hire prostitutes. Got it. If you can decipher any deeper logic than that behind Mr. Jackass Q. Moron's remarks, please let us know in comments. Because I can't even translate that level of stupid. Perkins should get some sort of award for that one.