C & J: Thursday

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE'

Oh! More Things I Know (Holiday Edition)

>> A key difference between a Democrat in Congress and a Republican in Congress is, when one of the bulbs in a Democrat's head goes out the others stay lit.

>> Now available in your local grocer's deli section: Good King Wences slaw

>> I look forward to the day when the Salvation Army stops discriminating against LGBT citizens so I can start tossing some coin in the kettle.

Pucker up, you sexy beast.
- >> Bing Crosby and David Bowie once sang a duet of Little Drummer Boy. Even 35 years later, that's trippy.

>> Oh my god---figgy pudding is PEOPLE!!!

>> All I want for Christmas is peace on earth. And if I can't have that I'll settle for peace on earth stenciled onto a pair of socks.

>> For the ninth year in a row, my Person of the Year is Yan Lam, owner of The Oriental Table here in Portland, Maine. (Not really, but if I pick someone else he'll withhold my weekly fix of sesame chicken and force me to dumpster dive for it after closing time.)

>> Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. Every time someone farts an angel gets a dirty look.

>> C&J has gone 24' [Ring!] ... Hello? Yes. Who? Where? Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Okay, thanks. Bye. [Click.] ...zero hours without a dreidel-related accident.

>> Did you hear about the billionaire who sold his precious pocketwatch so he could afford to buy his wife a set of hair brushes, but she sold her precious hair so she could afford to buy him a watch fob? Me neither.

>> A Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movie you'll never see: An Atheist Christmas Miracle.

More C & J below the fold'

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