Cheers and Jeers: Just Another Wednesday

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE'

Things to listen for in the near-future:

"I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will'er'execute the office of President of the United States faithfully'  Aw, Roberts, you still don't know how it goes??? I told you to write it down! Ruth, would you come up here and take over?"

"Senator Elizabeth Warren has proven to be a real thorn in the Republicans' side'"

"Democrats reformed Senate rules today that will put an end to Republican abuse of the filibuster'"

"President Obama signed the DREAM Act into law in a Rose Garden ceremony'"

"Hillary Clinton's replacement comes with strong foreign policy credentials and a sterling reputation around the globe'"

"Tim Geithner's replacement is getting rave reviews for not being Tim Geithner."

"Republicans are having a tough time finding something to impeach the president over, but Congressman Issa vows to keep trying. Hearings on the President's old parking tickets begin today."

"Mourdock! It's Joe Donnelly calling. Hey, what's your address? I'm sending over a helluva thank-you gift, buddy!"

"Akin! It's Claire McCaskill calling. Hey, what's your address? I'm sending over a helluva thank-you gift, buddy!"

"By the power vested in me by the state of [Maryland] [Maine] [Washington state], I now pronounce you lawfully married spouses. Congratulations [guys] [ladies]."

"No, ex-Congressman West, you're saying it wrong. It's 'Would you like fries with that,' not 'Are you a communist sympathizer.' Ex-congressman Walsh, would you please show him how to do it?"

"Sorry, Mr. Romney. It's a short-circuit somewhere, so you're gonna be stuck in that car elevator for a while. We'll throw you down some cheesy grits so you don't starve."

And a bit of advice circa 2006 from the late, great Molly Ivins on sportsmanship:

First rule:  No gloating. Actually, there is gloating allowed, but only in the exclusive presence of other Democrats. Gloating in the face of Republicans is rude and unsportsmanlike, and just gives them one more thing to complain about. Also, remember there is a possibility there may be some Republicans on the civil service staff---I have seen this when the R's win---and it is really not good manners to watch them wailing around with their eyes brimming with tears.

Congrats to Team Obama and all of last night's winners with a big ol' D after their name. Since I'm, indeed, exclusively among Democrats here, I've got three gloaty words about our landslide victory last night: "We Built That!"

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]