Some free (and helpful!) advice for Mitt Romney at tomorrow's NASCAR race

Mitt Romney isn't much of a NASCAR fan, but as he has proudly boasted, some of his friends own NASCAR teams, so when he attends tomorrow's race at the Richmond International Raceway, his goal won't be to win the affection of his fellow "job creators." Instead, he'll focus on appealing to the riff-raff attending the event as fans. (Perhaps we should call them "job takers"?)

This is a pretty standard sort of thing for a politician to do, but for Mitt Romney, any event in which he interacts with regular people is a potentially high-drama affair. Remember what happened the last time he attended a NASCAR race?

But the crowd initially booed Mr. Romney, who occasionally struck a discordant note, as when he approached a group of fans wearing plastic ponchos. 'I like those fancy raincoats you bought,' he said. 'Really sprung for the big bucks.'

And then, a couple of days later, Romney tried to convince people he hadn't intended to act like a condescending jackass, because he knew what it was like to be so poor you had to wear a garbage bag to keep dry:

Look I have worn a garbage bag for rain gear myself. And we're out there in the rain. And the rain was getting us soaked. I didn't -- I didn't have a rain coat myself. I would have liked one of those.

Yeah, okay, but they weren't wearing garbage bags. They were wearing ponchos. And I'm sure if Romney wanted a poncho, he could have gotten one. But he didn't need a poncho ... because he had guys around him with umbrellas to keep him dry. At least he did when he wasn't giving a speech indoors.

Speaking of that speech, allow me a short digression: Romney began by saying this about NASCAR: "'This combines a couple of the things I like best: cars and sport." Sport? Seriously? Who says that? Turns out: Just about nobody. At least not these days. Except for Mitt.

Anyway, back to the weather. According to the current weather report, there is a 30 percent chance of rain tomorrow in Richmond. That means means there's a real chance Mitt Romney might once again confront a poncho-clad American. And my advice to him is to simply say nothing at all about "rain gear." Certainly, Mitt shouldn't act as though he remembers when he was so impoverished that the only protection from rain that he could afford was a garbage bag, because that day never existed. And if he's going to complain about getting wet just like the regular folks, he should make sure nobody is holding an umbrella up over his head.

Oh, and whatever he does, Mitt Romney should stop referring to "sports" as "sport." But don't get me wrong, when I offer this advice, I'm not being all that serious. After all, it's all fun and game. And whatever he does, it could be worse: At least Romney isn't planning to strap a dog to the roof of his favorite NASCAR team. At least not this time.