Hello, human diary. It is I, Mitt Romney, your better. Happily, it is now the weekend. After another busy day of fundraising meals (I do not believe I will ever be able to eat another jumbo shrimp again, Mr. Diary) I will now spend the next several days practicing my skills of debate. I have been practicing quite a bit of late. The primary debates were simple enough affairs, as I could generally rely on other candidates to do nearly all of the speaking, but in debates between only two people it is expected that each of us will speak for a roughly equal amount of time.
As it turns out, this is a difficult thing to prepare for. While I have purchased several stacks of index cards for the occasion, there are only so many ways one can phrase "I believe I should pay fewer taxes," and it will be a trick to not exhaust them all within the first few minutes. I can pad it out a bit by suggesting various ways other wealth units should pay fewer taxes, and still further with various demands that large corporations pay less taxes, but after that I am at a bit of a loss. Are there other entities that should pay fewer taxes? My foreign policy staff is quite concerned with Israel, perhaps I can suggest that Israel pay fewer taxes.
I also plan to spend as much time as possible pointing out that the economy has not yet fully recovered from the deplorable circumstances it was left in by the last Republican president, and that my opponent deserves a great deal of blame for not being able to fix things more promptly. This should help the citizenry understand the wisdom of electing a new Republican president, one who properly understands the urgency of ensuring that I, Mitt Romney, pay fewer taxes.
No comments:
Post a Comment