Diary of a Beltway Factotum: Libya and Romney from inside

I don't know why the hell I'm writing this. Probably because I'm supposed to be eating my lunch and I don't feel like putting food in my mouth right now. Today is the unhappiest day of my short career in Washington'just passed the three year mark. I wasn't here for 9/11; I was a very young and green department head back in Texas.  

And I remember watching it all play out on television like a movie. I was touched, but not touched personally'like most Americans.  

But that's all changed, now of course, as our nation is once again under assault from extremists, this time 11 years later.  

I never say much about myself in these diaries'I like to keep them vague so that I can speak frankly without backlash or invasion of privacy. I never mention where I work. And I'm not going to do that now. But I am not in a very happy place right now.  

My Blackberry started blowing up yesterday with news of an attack on the U.S. post in Libya. It's not totally unusual for that to happen. Minor and major attacks take place all the time'stray bullets, fist fights, even an occasional car bombing. Most of these posts are fortresses and these kinds of attacks are usually back page news items. It was obvious from the outset, however, that this one was different. Not all the details are out there yet, but the end result was the confirmed death of four American State Department employees, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. If memory serves, the first ambassador to die in the field in something like 40 years.  

My office was quiet this morning. People were getting coffee. Mumbling. Sitting at their desks surfing the web'looking for news. No water cooler chat, other than 'did you hear the news?' It's like everyone was waiting for something. Washington wakes up before the rest of the nation so there's never an expectation of the beginning of a news cycle until the sun rises on the West Coast.  

(Continue reading below the fold.)

4:10 PM PT: Oh, my.  Eight years on dKos and this is my first trip to the front page.  I feel like I should apologize for this diary as I was very upset today and just wanted to vent my emotions.  I appreciate everyone in this community for their kindness.  If this diary has informed you, then I am very glad.

Please, friends, as we vent our anger at Mitt Romney, let us remember to keep Mr. Stevens and his fallen colleagues in our hearts.  

5:02 PM PT: So I sat down after supper and read every comment on this diary.  The amount of kindness is overwhelming and after calming myself down, it's made me more reflective.  If Romney does win this thing I don't think I'd cash in after all.  I worked for Bush and Perry. I can survive. With that kind of supprt we liberals just have to stick it out.  The bastards can only win if a good man does nothing.