Romney campaign promises to fight Lyme Disease using 'synergy'

@AnahitaNemat/Twitter, via Mother Jones In northern Virginia, the Mitt Romney campaign appears to be getting unusually specific about policy. A new mailer being sent is titled "ROMNEY-RYAN: DOING MORE TO FIGHT THE SPREAD OF LYME DISEASE" and paints a picture of a state under siege:

LYME DISEASE: A MASSIVE EPIDEMIC THREATENING VIRGINIA.

ROMNEY AND RYAN WILL DO MORE TO FIGHT THE SPREAD OF LYME DISEASE.

Um ' all right. Not sure a thousand or so cases last year counts as massive (a recent high point, but not by much), but let's not quibble with the premise of what clearly is supposed to be one of Virginia's foremost current doomterrors. Given that the Romney-Ryan camp has not exactly been known for their deep sympathy for the sick or for any other general health issues, how, oh, great mailer of wisdom, will they battle this menace?

IMPROVE SYNERGY

Oh, for ' just shoot me already. And here I thought our vaccination programs had killed that stupid word off for good.

IMPROVE SYNERGY

Ensure that government agencies have an open line of communication and work with patients, researchers, doctors, and businesses in an objective, comprehensive manner.

Wow, that's so great. I wish we had thought of that already.

INCREASE AWARENESS

Work with federal and state health agencies to support Lyme Disease awareness efforts to help prevent further spread of the disease.

I guess that's all right, though I have to worry that fighting Lyme Disease is trampling states' rights concerns here. Maybe certain states like Lyme Disease.

SUPPORT TREATMENT

Encourage increased options for the treatment of Lyme Disease and provide local physicians with protection from lawsuits to ensure they can treat the disease with the aggressive antibiotics that are required.

Oooooh, now I get it. All that's standing in the way of vanquishing the menace of Lyme Disease once and for all is ' tort reform. Things that the Romney-Ryan camp do not believe count as supporting treatment, however, include (1)  helping you get that treatment if you are poor or elderly, which is the kind of socialism that makes Paul Ryan show people PowerPoint slides for hours on end, or (2) preventing insurance companies from declaring you permanently uninsurable once you've gotten it, because that is one of those nasty "ObamaCare" things that must be repealed immediately, lest someone somewhere benefit from them. One thing that he's not promising is to spend a dime more on it, as is evidence by his letter conspicuously not mentioning spending a dime more on it.

If the Mitt camp wants to micro-target specific issues, by all means, they should have at it. You have to be a little impressed, though, that the campaign can be so narrow and specific in what they target'and still manage to come up with answers so generic that they don't actually suggest anything at all. It's your mailer, guys! You can suggest anything you want as a fix, and your answer to a'your words, here'"massive epidemic threatening Virginia" are to propose synergy and tort reform? Heaven help us if the zombie apocalypse were to come during a Romney-Ryan administration'their answer would probably be some government-sponsored motivational posters on zombie rightsizing.