Lots of good stuff in PPP's post-election poll

Free flag idea for the secessionists. You're welcome. Going down the list of numbers from PPP's post-election poll, there's quite a bit of encouraging news to be had. David already covered two of the specifics, but here they are again just to review:

49% of GOP voters nationally say they think that ACORN stole the election for President Obama. We found that 52% of Republicans thought that ACORN stole the 2008 election for Obama, so this is a modest decline, but perhaps smaller than might have been expected given that ACORN doesn't exist anymore.

This is outstanding news. Despite not actually existing, ACORN appears to be just as effective at secret conspiracies to steal elections as they were when they did exist. There may be some explanation for this that involves quantum mechanics (especially possible because physics itself is a liberal plot), and possibly quantum squirrels, to be specific, but whatever the case, let it be known that some anonymous yokel signing the name Mickey Mouse on a voter registration form remains, for four years running, the prime existential challenge to our nation's great democratic process. Republican registration-getters tossing non-GOP registrations, changing registrations to mark voters as GOP, or government-run efforts in multiple states to remove any voter from the rolls whose names sound suspiciously ethnic all remain non-issues, because the right set of crooks said so.

The 39% of Americans with an opinion about Bowles/Simpson is only slightly higher than the 25% with one about Panetta/Burns, a mythical Clinton Chief of Staff/former western Republican Senator combo we conceived of to test how many people would say they had an opinion even about something that doesn't exist.

Again, superb news. First off, we know that if Leon Panetta and C. Montgomery Burns decided tomorrow to come out with a bipartisan plan to do something something something, a full one quarter of Americans would support that effort right off the bat. That's halfway to 50 percent, if I understand the maths correctly. And that bipartisan something could be anything: mandatory vampirism, perhaps. Because ACORN.

More poll results:

25% of Republicans say they would like their state to secede from the union compared to 56% who want to stay and 19% who aren't sure.

Nothing says you're the party of patriotism quite like having a quarter of your members say they don't want to be part of America anymore. The good news? PPP didn't poll how many of those Republicans actually knew what the term secede meant, so there's a good chance many of them thought it was a food product.

Our final poll before the election, which hit the final outcome almost on the head, found 39% of voters identifying themselves as Democrats and 37% as Republicans. Since the election we've seen a 5 point increase in Democratic identification to 44%, and a 5 point decrease in Republican identification to 32%.

More good news, as the Democratic ranks swell. Unfortunately, most of the newcomers would appear to be liars. Many Americans like to be seen as on the winning side, so they lie to polling firms to feel better about themselves. That's just sad. I'm ashamed of you, you five percenters. You folks are worse than ACORN. You are why America can't have nice things.

As much of an obsession as Bowles/Simpson can be for the DC pundit class, most Americans don't have an opinion about it. 23% support it, 16% oppose it, and 60% say they don't have a take one way or the other.

Oh my effing gawd, so for this the networks, the press, the Sunday shows have been constructing elaborate shrines to Simpson/Bowles for the last what-seems-like-hundred years? For this? I would just like to point out that the percentage of Republicans who think we should be calling America quits and breaking up the nation piecemeal due to their personal post-election sadfaces is, at this moment, higher than the percentage of Americans who give any upwards-thumbing damn about what Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles think about things. But the cause of righteous, butt-hurt secession does not gain privileged entry to the nation's many green rooms, while we have to hear what Simpson and Bowles think approximately twenty times a goddamn day, and possibly thirty times a goddamn day if the British royalty has nothing significant to announce.

David Petraeus has a 44/30 favorability rating nationally and is seen much more favorably by Democrats (47/25) at this point than Republicans  (38/36).

I have no idea what that one means. Remember when Republicans were contemplating making David Petraeus their next presidential nominee? Yeah, that was a hoot. But then ACORN had to go and screw it all up by inventing extramarital sex.

In summary, Republicans are cranky, Democrats are less cranky, the pundit class has absolutely no idea what the rest of America actually cares about and vice versa. So mostly business as usual.