Thursday, February 28, 2013

Michele Bachmann: Other than losing, I did everything right when I ran for president

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) at the 38th annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) meeting at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in Washington, February 10, 2011. The CPAC is a project of the American Conservative Union Foundation Don't look at the investigations of my campaign. Instead, remember how awesome I was! Oh, Michele. Oh, you poor, dumb bastard.

While Bachmann's long-ago abandoned quest for the White House continues to face investigations for criminal and ethical violations, she would like to take this opportunity to remind us'again!'that she was super awesome at running for president:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) gave an interview this week at Patrick Henry College, an Evangelical Christian institution in Virginia, in which she proudly claimed that she'd had a flawless record of accuracy throughout the 2012 GOP presidential debate cycle.

'I was very proud of the fact that I didn't get anything wrong that I said during the course of the debates," she said, according to Salon. "I didn't get anything wrong, and that's a huge arena."

Bachmann went on to explain the difficulty of achieving such perceived perfection.

'You have to be a virtual Wikipedia,' she said. 'You can be asked anything. You could be asked, 'who's your favorite contemporary singer?''

Well, Lord knows whenever people hear the name "Michele Bachmann," they immediately think "virtual Wikipedia." Which is funny because if you go way back to May 2012, you may recall when Bachmann claimed her campaign was almost, but not quite, flawless:
It really was, we were extremely careful, and we were almost mistake free, but for those two points, Elvis Presley's birthday and John Wayne's birthplace. I've apologized, and we moved beyond.
Of course, that "almost mistake free" claim came a few short months she insisted, "I haven't had a gaffe or something that I've done that has caused me to fall in the polls." That's why she continued to soar in the polls, seal the Republican nomination, and kick President Barack Obama out of the White House. Oh, except not.

Michele can pat herself on the back for her stellar presidential run all she wants, but let's not get distracted from what really matters: that her campaign just may have broken the law.

Please sign our petition urging the Federal Election Commission to engage in a speedy and transparent investigation into these allegations.

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