Lessons to learn when you've been sexually assaulted by a drunken cop

You have the right to "give a little back." It's time for another pop quiz, boys and girls, so get out those No. 2 pencils.

Let's say you're a superior court judge in Coconino County, Arizona. A jury has just found Department of Public Safety Officer Robb Gary Evans guilty of drinking eight beers and then driving himself to a bar, where he tried to use his badge to get into a concert for free, then walked up to a woman and "put his hand up her skirt and then ran his fingers across her genitals," and then threatened to arrest the bouncers who tossed his ass out of the bar.

Side note: The jury did not have an opportunity to hear about and assess the separate incident earlier that evening of Officer Evans pinching another woman's ass. That would have been unfair to Office Evans.

Upon sentencing Officer Evans to a whopping two years of probation and some community service'because, hey, those four days he served in jail already are more than enough, right?'do you tell the victim of this drunken cop's sexual assault:

1. "If you wouldn't have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you."
2. "I hope you look at what you've been through and try to take something positive out of it. [...] You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability."
3. "As my mother used to say, 'When you blame others, you give up your power to change.'"

If you are Coconino County Superior Court Judge Jacqueline Hatch, the answer is "Yes, all of the above."

It's understandable that Judge Hatch would conclude this was, despite the jury's decision, pretty much the victim's fault. After all, she did leave her house. Sure, this is America, so you're free to take your chances if you dare to leave the house, but come on. You go out in public, what do you think is going to happen to you? You're not going to get sexually assaulted by a drunken cop? Duh, lady. If you don't want a drunken cop to grope your vagina, try staying home.

(Just don't try staying home in New York, where police officers have the right to rape you in your own apartment.)

As for why Judge Hatch felt that not really punishing the cop at all was punishment enough, well, how can you argue with this persuasive plea for leniency?

"These people put their lives on the line every day," Evan's former partner said. "I hope you'll be lenient on him. To me, this is one way we can give a little back to those in law enforcement who give so much to us everyday."

See? If this blame-everyone-but-herself "victim" had simply allowed the drunken police officer to finger-rape her in a bar, this wouldn't have happened. Which, obviously, she would have done if she cared about her public servants and wasn't such a selfish bitch that she was unwilling to "give a little back."

This is why we can't have nice things. Now, for extra credit, please describe all of the ways Judge Hatch can go fuck herself.

(Via)