Newtown? Sandy Hook? Call it 12/14

Graphic created by Begany Design, Sandy Hook, CT. Used with permission
Words matter. Descriptions matter.

For example, I don't personally refer to the massacre of 20 first graders and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012 as "the Sandy Hook shootings" although others do. Sandy Hook is a part of Newtown, and Newtown is my home. To call it something other than Newtown feels to me like saying it happened to "them" and sets them apart, when it happened to us and devastated the entire town.

If I want to indicate something that is reserved for those who lost someone or who was there, like a visit with the President or an invitation to a Congressional hearing on gun legislation, I'll talk about "the families" or Sandy Hook School.

That's not to say that I begrudge anyone else saying it, particularly those who live in Sandy Hook. They get to refer to it any way they want. It's just one of those things to be aware of, the subtlety in language and usage that nonetheless carries meaning.

Here's another issue to be aware of, and Newtowners struggle with it. Is the number memorialized 20 (the children), 26 (killed at the school), 27 (the victims, including Nancy Lanza)? It's never 28, though that's the number of deaths we recorded on 12/14. I promise you, the answer to that question is not an easy one to answer, though 26 is the most commonly seen number. There were 27 victims, 26 at Sandy Hook School.

Whatever the number, whatever the expression of grief, it wil be a long, long time before we get over it.

My friend and fellow Newtown resident, MaryAnn Murtha expressed a lot of this in an op-ed that appeared in the Washington Post this week:

You know also that Newtown is suffering. A man shot and killed 20 of our schoolchildren and six of our educators in a matter of minutes on Dec. 14. Since then, green and white ribbons, the colors of Sandy Hook Elementary School, adorn our jackets, as we console each other and proclaim that we are Newtown Strong. Our shared grief is so thick you can almost hold it in your hands. As a town we weep unexpectedly and openly, just as our governor, Dannel Malloy, a tough former assistant district attorney from Brooklyn, choked up as he spoke during the opening of Connecticut's legislative session. As one woman told me, standing by the cucumbers in the grocery store, tears welling in her eyes, 'You just never know when it's gonna hit ya.'

But as haunting a description as that was, MaryAnn wrote that op-ed to advance an idea:

Many have asked, What can we do? Well, here's my answer: For the sake of the victims, their families, Sandy Hook and Newtown, call the shooting 12/14.

The national media have, insensitively, begun to call 12/14 'Sandy Hook' or 'Newtown.' Listening to TV the other night, I heard someone say, 'We just don't want another Newtown.' Ouch.

Our friends in Columbine know. Our friends in Aurora know. Our friends in Oklahoma City know. Having your town's name synonymous with an evil act does not aid the healing process; in fact, it adds to the pain and casts shadows. Here in Newtown, we have seen enough darkness. We need your light, your love and your support.

Let's explore more of that idea below the fold.